Wonderwall

In life there's this one person that shows up in the nick of time out of nowhere, or maybe they were always there somehow? Waiting in the shadows without really knowing they were waiting? Trading the spaces shoulder to shoulder with you they are always just there, around, and then one day they take their rightful place in your space, our space. Moving with complete grace they place their hands of time over you, around you, and without a single word they decide your entire future together. It's set, just like that. When two spaces suddenly become one and for the first time you feel that it is actually okay to breathe.

And now, years later, you share a glance across the table. For a flash of a second you put the drunken conversations on hold at the exact same time to share one of those glances that are filled with laughter and admiration as if to say: "Remember?" And "I know." Then you're right back to the casual yet entertaining talks of the night.

It was always like this, easy, right. "Best friends" have such an childish ring to it and yet there is no other word, not really. Pieces of one soul, maybe? But the words are filled with a sense of comedy, because no one really believes that in the real world. Those words are ones of fairytales, eternal dreams of the inner child that cradles herself somewhere deep within the walls of your heart. But we both know that though the comedy the seriousness outwighs it all every time when I say it because I do believe wholeheartedly that however it works we were both made of the same blank page, maybe not two complete parts but we both started there.

The roads where paved with obstacles; endless, painful decisions. But no matter the drug, no matter the pain we always cradled each other. Because I own your heart and you own mine, that way it can never be destroyed, busted at times perhaps, but never broken. Chicken-ass says it's so.

Perhaps it is just a silly dream, a broken fantasy that two people can find each other so completely but I don't care. We were born out of the same ashes and to the same ashes we shall return. There will be love found and love lost and found again, lives built and plans made but the friendship once based entirely on a pop-star was forged into something unbreakable, something beyond the hands of time, the meaning of words. Forever intertwined to carry one another.

Best friends have such a childish ring to it but it's the only one there is. We are so far apart yet the same. Love like this is one that never goes away, it breathes us and we it. We cherish it as if a child because we know how important it is. Best friends. Same blank page, a story suddenly so clear in the glow of a single red thread. I would go to the ends of the Earth for you, you know that and you would do the same for me. "Remember? I know."

Love, Em

Cyndi Lauper

About a year back I watched a couple of videos on youtube. They were made by the "Give A Damn Campaign": http://www.wegiveadamn.org/ and the founder? The extremely talented, kind and humble Cyndi Lauper. You may know her as the girl who performed Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Time After Time and True Colors but beyond that she has done so much more for the world and all of it with a heart of gold. But beyond the work she's done against breast cancer, her performance of "Girls" in Afghanistan and the tons of support for people who need it the most the one that struck me harder than any of them was just the Give a Damn Campaign because it hit so incredibly close to home.

I have been fortunate enough to get parents, family, friends and relatives who have accepted my coming out without a second thought but a lot of people aren't as lucky. I can barely think about what these people must go through every day: having been kicked out of their homes, their lives ripped from them, having to hide who they are to not get killed or simply just being bullied enough to feel that suicide is actually an option, fearing that who they are is so unacceptable that the only way out is to take their own lives. I can barely think about it without getting so emotionally hurt that I actually have to hold back the tears. But I do think about it, I think about it every day. What if it had been me? I know it's probably selfish to think like that but I think one step further, if it had been me I am so glad that there are people out there like Cyndi, Danny, my parents, my friends and family out there who gives a damn.

To Malin, my best friend and partner in crime, she who has been there by my side through it all and helped me carry through whether it be a laugh, a hug, tears and complete support. All I've ever gotten from you is love. Thank you for giving a damn!

The people we meet

So it's been a while since my first post, gotta say a lot has happened since then but I am too tired to write it all down now.
All I have to say is that time and time again he surprises me! Thank you so much for being the amazing person you are, it may be small but today urging me to go spend my night with my girlfriend instead of work tomorrow because it is important to cherish the time we have has to be one of the nicest things I've ever had the pleasure of hearing.
And even though I feel like I'm failing you in a way I am so grateful for everything and especially this!
I will not forget this and everything else either but this really was it, small as it may seem to the rest of you.

Danny, cheers! You just made my day!

Take care, work hard and remember to relax at least every once in a while or you'll drive yourself straight into the gutter!