No matter where the moments take me they bleed desperately for me to see what's right in front of me. But I'm blind, blinded by a cause I still can't quite grasp. Why and how can't even begin to describe the sensation. It's all coming unhinged, though, I know...
I have to say that I love my sister so much right now. "Fuck 'em," she says. "Fuck 'em and what they think. I will never stop believing in you."
So this is it, Em. You have the world at your feet, what do you want to do with it?
My brain is working overtime at this point, I want to run back to the safety I had for so long but I know I can't. I want to find new things to experience but so far they're only ideas and no matter how hard I try I can't get them to form into something productive. I have a way, I have many ways, and paths I haven't even studied yet so why not take the leap? Why not just take that one step off the edge and free fall without the safety net? Fear?
For the first time I feel like I'm really trying to welcome that side, make it home and cradle the losses. But it's hard because I can't force myself to feel something when the walls are up. But I'm digging, hitting them with all I've got, and bit by bit I can feel them coming down. One step at a time, right?
I have to force myself to take care of things now before comfort takes over and I'm done feeling sorry for myself. I stare at a reflection that just feels sad and pathetic. Do something! I will... I'm gonna. I've found a fragile ground and it's taking me all I have to believe in it and take that leap of faith, see that I won't actually crash right through. No matter what it is, how little it is, it's there. It's offering me a hand and I'm ready to take it.
Tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning. The past is gone and the future has yet to come, all we really have is here and now.
Kelly Clarkson – Save You - you know who you are...
Kelly Clarkson – Save You - you know who you are...
//Em
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