Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal It's the bitter taste of losing everything that I've held so dear." - Sarah McLachlan
And you could have it all, my empire of dirt.
Last night was exciting and hard. Mentally hard. These are things I have to hear but I never thought of it as being that bad. I think I get it now... It'll take a while longer, but I think I'll find it and accept it.
The familiar smell fills my room as a haunting reminder of who I used to be. Or maybe who I always wanted to be but never really became. Have I even moved these years or are the strains on my face the only thing revealing my age. Like the rings in a tree, cut me open and count the rings. Or trace them under my eyes.
I'm so sick, I'm tired and sick and nauseated. Every piece of food burn in my throat and attacks my stomach like a bomb, almost recoiling itself back up my throat.
The images are forever edged into my memory and to be able to at least function it takes every bit of strength to push them away for now. But I feel them, I always feel them, I allow myself to feel them because I have to...
//Em
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